Many immigrant parents are LOYAL! Loyal ’til death. Like they will stay at a horrible job because they are thankful to be employed, they have bills to pay, children to feed, and they are able to send money back home. They will continue to participate in religious practices even when they are not being filled. They settle down and don’t like to move. So when my parents would see me quit a job after finding a better one, they would scratch their heads. There’s a saying in Spanish, “Mas vale malo por conocido que bueno por conocer.” We hear this and are raised to fear the unknown and end up staying in situations, institutions, jobs, & relationships, that are unhealthy because we believe it could always be worse. Working on reprogramming my brain from years and years of stories my parents told me is hard. I get why my parents and many other parents have these legitimate fears but I no longer accept them as my own. Although I am working on my fears I still have them, they’re just different now. I don’t fear the unknown because when I’m in a bad place or space I know I deserve and can do better. My fear is not fear of the unknown but fear of staying stuck and being unhappy and unfulfilled.
What fears or limits did you grow up with that affected your adult life?